You’re right that I misquoted Hahn. She did say, “You can’t kind of be a lesbian.” (Here’s the scene on youtube for anyone who wants to see it, right before the 2 minute mark http://preview.tinyurl.com/c5dr3w ) But either way, it’s still biphobia on Hahn’s part, mostly internalized biphobia turned outward onto her own girlfriend, which, as you pointed out is a pretty horrible thing to do.

I see Arizona as a foil for Callie’s internal struggles over her own sexual identity. Whether she likes Callie or not is insignificant. The point is that she makes Callie question herself, as we all do when we are rejected by someone we like.

I hold nothing against Grey’s. In fact I respect it for the way it depicts (not continues or reinforces) pretty realistically the biphobia that exists in the real world, and bi folk’s attempts to deal with it. I don’t think the show is any more biphobic than the rest of society. It is less so, but still biphobic nonetheless, and needs to examine how it treats bi characters in ways that are more true to the experiences of bi people.

i think you’re reading WAY too much hate and phobia into Grey’s Anatomy. first off, you mis-quoted the statement that so memorably stung you. Dr. Hahn did not say ‘pretend lesbian’ at any point. she said “…and you can’t ‘kind of’ be a lesbian.” and given how much of an ass she was most of the time, having such a black-and-white attitude about something that SHE HERSELF was still insecure about (did you even notice?) was rather fitting.

and the Arizona thing was far more innocuous than how you interpret it. what’s so wrong with not wanting to date someone who’s in an experimental phase? can’t you understand how that could be an emotionally unsafe relationship for Arizona? as an adult straight male, i would neither want to date a virgin nor a woman who has only had one short-lived relationship. experience and maturity in sexuality matter! it’s not wrong to be new, but neither is it wrong to choose NOT to go through that with someone.

there’s more to feminism than accruing a rap sheet of PC violations.